Whether you have traveled before or not, it is always a different experience, and feeling, when you miss the Holiday season back home for the first time. Once break comes rolling around you don’t normally have to worry about not having anything to do. You have your friends that will also be visiting home for the Holidays from their Universities, you have those weird-ass relatives you hadn’t seen the year before, or maybe even longer. There are even those people you hadn’t seen since high school out at the bars for a New Year’s Party.
However, it’s completely different when you end up living and studying abroad for a long enough period of time to miss the Holidays. As I write this post, I know it’s been a while again and I’m sorry about that, I keep waiting for the feelings of homesickness to set in, the depression of not having anybody to spend break with (everybody else went home throughout Europe as it is SO much cheaper than flying to the States), or the tears of “I-want-to-go-home-and-I-don’t-want-to-be-here” to set in.
But none of that has happened yet.
“What the hell is wrong with me?!” is all I can be thinking. Then, I begin to realize: nothing.
Nothing is wrong with me. It’s just a preference of how I apparently like to enjoy my Holiday season. Don’t get me wrong. I do miss seeing how fast my two little cousins are growing up, and how it’s going to be Jace’s first Christmas and birthday in January. But the peacefulness? Though kind of eery, it is also quite relaxing. VERY relaxing actually.
If I wanted to, and I might, I could book a train or a cheap flight to travel to a country next door. A country next door…not a state this time! Not only that but the experience of being on my own for the Holidays is making me also appreciate the other cultures and groups of people around me. Not everybody celebrates Christmas obviously, and I only do so simply because I have an excuse to do nothing for weeks but eat food and visit people while avoiding my school work until the last possible minute. There are plenty of exchange students that are still going to be around for the Holidays, so what better way than to get together and have our own dinner of various meals?!
I love the idea of so much variety of food!!
Food. Food makes me think of Grandma’s house. I have to admit the only person I’ve been the most concerned over and how they are handling me being gone is Grandma. One, we can only write (and the mail is slow as hell), since she doesn’t know how to work a computer or other technology ver well (she also hates it). Two, though I have her recipes, there is nothing quite like Grandma’s cooking during this time of year.
All year, I have been thinking about that Pumpkin Pie that was at Thanksgiving. Her Apple Crisp, Apple Pie, Peach Pie she makes with ice cream…I’m drooling now just thinking about it all. Oh! We can’t forget her Krumkaka and Kringla specifically for Christmas. There is nothing better than those traditional Scandinavian desserts to enjoy.
Though break just started yesterday (it’s nice never having classes on Fridays- it’s not a popular thing over here in Germany to do so), I’m determining more and more that my heart is not with my friends and family as I thought it was. I always knew it wasn’t 100%, and there is NOTHING wrong with that, but it is nice to experience that full sense of realization. I’m not as curious as to what is going on in everybody’s life back home 24/7.
My heart has grown more and more attached to the travel life. To being the nomad, that is constantly broke, but so much richer than if I had had a pocket full of money.
My first time away from home for the Holidays, and I am surprisingly content with where I am at. Still not sure if it is due to my traveling before or my personality as an Introvert (maybe both?). Nevertheless, I will dream of Grandma’s food that I’ll get to enjoy when I go home next Fall and the opportunities that are awaiting me to take advantage of while I am gone for Christmas.
As Confucious said: “Wherever you go, go with all your heart.”